Salve!Welcome to Rona the Lovely’s web page
- Our lovely Rona passed away on the morning of 5th November 2009 -
We'll always miss you, Rona
xxx
Click here to see Rona's Memorial Website
Yes, the amazing Orgazmik Super-Stud and Mystik Overlord himself [me] has deigned to write a page for all his adoring fans (plus the occasional dissenter, for who knows, they might again See the Light, and re-attain their State of Grace, or whatever). I’m so magnanimous, aren’t I, fans (yet some say that I’m starting to go Squoo-dalli woo-dalli, or ‘Gaga’ as they used to say – they wish!)?
“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law” or so it says in the good book (not, of course, the so called Good Book that the Followers of Darkness use). How come, then, that people say to me, “Ah yes, Rona, But there is an obvious limit!” – and this from folk who are (supposedly) on our side. Are they really only “Methodists-in-the-Nude”? Mention ‘Pan’ to them, and they say, “Oh, I use a microwave!”. Where are all the richly-flavoured people these days? Where have all the ‘Walter the Softy’-s / ‘Modern Parents’ come from? Anyway, excuse me chuntering (for a change).
About me: Well, I’m just your average 100% (or nearly, anyway) heterosexual sort of (Pan loving, Puck flavoured) guy. I’m married to a
wonderful wife
[whom I sometimes call my ‘Snoogie-Woogie’ or ‘Pootie-Pie’ – but don’t tell anyone (coo-ee, my dear)], and I’ve got kids, a nice semi, a silver Renault Scenic automatic [automatics are the Bees’ Knees, I think!] called Rupert, that has Air-Con (heaven). I’ve a cat [Cerridwen / CD / Dances-with-CapsLock], a dog [Zeus], two goldfish [Cheech + Chong], and usually a girlfriend or two – plus the occasional dalliance.
I digress – Soz! How lucky we are today, with all this modern technology (although I DO sometimes yearn for the days when we just wore Woad). Look at me; sixty plus, (but still working), with a wife half my age 
(not that I’m in any way a cradle snatcher, or anything [or at least, only rarely!] - it’s just that sometimes I also enjoy ‘Generationally Differential Relationships’ as the modern term is) etc., but without things like Viagra and Spray Starch, I’d be completely in the whatsit - probably only able to get a stiff neck (unless, of course, I used a really modern top-class good quality Magic Wand to achieve the desired result)!
try these jokes (from one of my daughters – she’s 30) hidden in the stars above
– Avian ’Flu - Latest pictures of one of the first UK victims! –
1st guy: I met a girl last night and took her back to mine for a game of cards.
2nd guy: Poker?
1st guy: No, but we had a snog.
... and for anyone who would like to know me better - here's my rune (and piccie)!
Cheese tip (from my sister): Try using Gruyère cheese either on toast, or wherever a cheese topping is asked for. On its own, Gruyère is okay - some say quite nice - but when heated on something, it completely transforms and becomes an amazing topping!
Another tip, from a friend: To liven up a Shepherds’ Pie, add some Ox-tail Soup, and a teaspoon of English Mustard!
Yet another tip, from me: To make a great Cheese Sandwich, get two slices of bread (granary is nice), margarine (or butter) them both, then add Sandwich Spread¹ to one slice, and place some slices of [maybe Wensleydale²] Cheese on top of the Sandwich Spread.
On the other slice, put a thin layer of Black Cherry Jam³ (or Apricot³), then place together to complete the gastronomic delight!
¹ We have Heinz’ Sandwich Spread in England, which is really nice.
² A traditional first-rate pure white English cheese that is pressed to give it a firm yet crumbly and flaky texture. Wensleydale is made from milk from cows grazing on the surrounding limestone pastures, and ripened for only three weeks, giving it a fresh clean aroma and a taste with distinctive honey notes. A slice of Wensleydale is a traditional accompaniment to rich fruitcake, but the cheese is very versatile; it can be enjoyed paired with bread and beer, or on its own with a glass of wine.
³ I buy “St. Dalfour - Rhapsodie de Fruit - High Fruit Content Spread”. It has no sugar (and being diabetic, that’s important to me), no preservatives, flavourings, colouring, or artificial sweeteners, and can be bought in most supermarkets in England. It’s wholesome - and tastes the way that jam should!
Also (no, I’m not on commission), there are lots of different and exciting flavours – see www.stdalfour.com
[Yes, I know that it’s French, but we’re in the Common Market now, aren’t we? — Bring on the €uro, I say - it’ll stop all these Exchange Rate racketeers ripping us off as they do today! And, yes, I know that the policians say that it will be a “Bad Thing”, but please remember that most politicians only say what they’ve been bought-off to say. They’re as corrupt as the Police Force, and you all know that England has the best Police Force that money can buy!]
